Rachel, a Little Warrior, and a Spot You’ve Probably Never Heard Of

Rachel's Make-a-Wish trip to Disney WorldI read the most extraordinary story of a few minutes in a mother’s life that will stay with her – and with me – forever.  You can feel her rollercoaster of emotions, including the nausea, and you can feel the numbness set in when she switches from using a personal pronoun for herself to using, “one.”

From the Littlest Warrior Spot I’m quoting the initial diagnosis of her daughter’s pediatric spitzoid melanoma here, but there is an entire year of blog posts worth reading:

“Yesterday we had an appointment scheduled for stitches removal.  I was very confident that they were going to give us the “all clear” and we’d schedule a follow-up.  When the doctor came in he was all smiles and I said, “So, do we have news?” and he said, “As a matter of fact we do.”  Still all smiles so I’m thinking, “Phew!  I knew it was fine.”  Then he turns to Rachael and says, “Rachael, mommy and the doctor have to do some really boring talking.  Would you like to go to the playroom where it will be more fun?”He was being cheerful and upbeat for her.  Mind started reeling.

We take her to the playroom, he puts his arm around my shoulder and says, “I can count on one hand the amount of times I have sent a child out so I could talk to the parent alone.”  I said, “This isn’t good news.” And he said, “No.  It isn’t.”

I was alone and I didn’t want to break down.  And the not breaking down was making me really naseous.  And then my brain sorta went numb and I went into “get information” mode.

Rachael has “at least” stage 3 melanoma.  They found cells in the lymph nodes.  So that sounds really horrible and if one were to spend a lot of time googling, one might end up in a puddle quivering under her computer table but one has studiously avoided google so one will simply tell what the doctors said.  Which is much more encouraging than I understand google is.  Google does not give hugs and say, “You will be okay”.  Google is like that mean woman at work who actually tells you that you do look fat because you were stupid enough to ask.  The best way to deal with her is avoid her and certainly don’t ask her questions you don’t want to hear the answers to.

Her oncologist believes she will grow old and give me grandbabies. He actually said that.”

If you’re still with me and reading Rachel’s story, head over to the post that details her Make-a-Wish trip to Walt Disney World.  It will warm your heart.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. I am beyond touched. I love your writing style and to hear how you wrote about my Rachael and me was totally unexpected and surreal. Seeing myself reflected through your eyes… I think you get me.

    Now… how can I subscribe to your blog??

    Reply

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